The Flirt

Date number two...

was much more successful...

than date number one.

(adorable Beatrice belongs to our friends Russ and Miriah and Julian cannot get enough of her!)

What a difference a year makes..

First, let me say that I should absolutely be sleeping right now. Matter of fact, the minute Julian falls asleep, my head should be hitting the pillow as it's only a matter of hours before he's up again, needing fed. And yet strangely, it is this fact that made me want to blog tonight.

It's amazing how much your life can change in one year.

This time last year I had only recently found out that I was pregnant. I was sick as a dog, I remember that much, and life seemed so uncertain, and yet exciting at the same time. Christmas was the day I chose to come out to the rest of our families about our good news. I remember waking up so nervous that day...wondering what everyone's reaction would be, nervous to tell everyone..knowing that nothing is certain.

Of course, you do realize your life will change...everyone tells you your life will change, but honestly? You don't have any idea just what that means until your life really does change.

This time last year I had a Christmas 'want' list much like those of years before - pajamas, clothes, perhaps some new fancy electronic something or another. I spent cold winter weekends languishing in bed until noon. I went to the mall...spent loads of time on gifts and tried (as I did every year) to be creative and surprise Eddie with what I got for him.

This year, my Christmas list is pretty short and mostly involves my desire for more sleep as well as a safe (and complete!) home for my child to grow up in. Sleeping in is a long-distant memory (heck, sleeping at ALL is a long-distant memory)...and shopping trips tend to be cut severely short by a crying, fussy baby who refuses to spend even five more minutes in that stinking carseat.

Yep...life sure does change on you! In just one year, Julian has gone from the size of a peanut to the squirmy, squealy, bubbly little baby that has become the love of my life...and I've added "Mommy" to my resume. That in itself has been the best gift of all.

Snow!

Julian got to see his first real snow this week, and boy was there lots of it! 12 inches or so to be exact. Since I didn't want to risk making my already hour-plus long commute in the bad weather, he got lots of Mommy time and even a little Daddy time on Wednesday. It was nice to finally have the opportunity to put up the tree and do some decorating...however little of it I actually got accomplished. It's officially starting to feel like Christmas! Julian even made his first visit to see Santa this past weekend and got a photo with him :) Unfortunately I need to dig my scanner out of the basement so that I can post it! He was very good though, and didn't cry!

Here's a recap of some of the other things we did this last week..



In his Santa hat, posing for Christmas card pictures...he's finally decided that tummy time isn't so bad and even seems to LIKE being on his belly some days. This is major progress!

Hanging his very first ornament with Daddy - a silver reindeer given to him by Grandma. Reindeers were Mommy's favorite when Mommy was a little girl.

Three little stockings :) I smile every time I see them. Of course, I would have smiled a bit more had I remembered to order Julian his special stocking like Mommy and Daddy's...but it's nothing a spare stocking and a little glitter paint couldn't fix. I just can't wait to fill it with all the fun stuff I bought him! He's been the one person I've had no problem shopping for this year...and the only one who wouldn't notice a difference if I had!
The end product...complete with cat (presents?) under the tree. So far they've done pretty well with not demolishing the whole thing...which was an issue with our old tree.

And now the snow...

We finally ventured outside for a bit on Wednesday...you'll notice my car buried under a mountain of snow in the driveway...it's still sitting there. Exactly like that. The picture doesn't really do it justice as to just how much there was...or should I say "is"...it's still all out there!

Julian discovering his first snow! Very briefly of course...as it was very VERY cold outside! Once he got over the overwhelming brightness of it all, he seemed ok with it!

Taking a short trip to see baby "T-bone" a calf owned by friends of ours. I think he was a little confused...this cow looked nothing like the one on Baby Einstein! He was probably thinking "what kind of cat is THIS?"

T-bone :)

Attending his cousin Abbey's carnival-themed birthday party last Friday...


Taken just nano-seconds before the crying erupted. Poor guy :( It's all fun and games until someone sticks a giant red ball on your nose.


Getting a kiss from Mommy to make it all better...


Uncle Ben...dressed up for the occasion. I think Julian was a bit confused.

But he put on a brave face and even cracked a smile or two. Especially when Uncle Ben let him play with his 'hair'.

Some random photos...

"fishy face"...Julian still loves bath time the best!

Floor time...

He's so long and almost skinny now! Last week he weighed 16 1/2 lbs and measured 26 1/2 inches long. He's already wearing 6-9 month pants (and some tops) and even those are kind of short on him at times. I look back on stuff he wore just a few months ago and can't believe he was ever that tiny! It amazes me.

Also, starting just this last week he's finally decided that rolling over onto his belly has its benefits. He still doesn't do it every time he's on the floor, but will do it multiple times a day if he's feeling like it. He's so proud of himself when he does it too. He just beams from ear to ear :) I can honestly say that I'm nowhere near ready for him to be crawling...but I do get excited when I think about all the new things he's learning to do! He's growing up so fast!

Here's a video of him in his jumperoo the other night...

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/utXF2BpHCtNbraYRC9hYTA?feat=directlink

At his 4 month appointment last week, the doctor suggested we start baby proofing now. Little does she know that it would literally take a contractor to do so. Maybe Santa will bring Mommy a contractor for Christmas...

Back to business

My how the last few weeks have flown by... 2 weeks ago I started back at work, working 3 days a week. It's honestly been the toughest transition yet. Leaving my little buddy every morning has been gut-wrenching, and having to run around with my head cut off in the evenings just to get ready for the next day has been exhausting. Add to that the fact that he is currently going through some sort of phase (regression?) where he now wakes every 3 hours to eat overnight, and you can imagine why I say it's been tough. Julian also has decided that eating is apparently for wimps during much of the day (most likely the case of the overnight feedings all of a sudden) and has given those watching him quite a hassle when it comes to getting any food in his belly. I'm really really hoping that part changes. I personally think he's just missing mommy...and noticing something is different. There's always bound to be something that goes awry when you make big changes to a baby's life. I'm just praying things get easier and that I get the hang of the morning routine (or lack thereof?) and am able to continue to get out of the house on time.

Well, the sickies haven't left us yet...Julian and I like to share everything, and are currently both battling another round of colds. I have a feeling it's just going to be like this for the duration of the winter - yet another reason why it's not my favorite season by any stretch. Julian continues to thrive, however and has started mastering a handful of new skills! He now reaches for and grasps things (toys, mommy's hair, pretty much everything that comes near him), he is also starting to be able to roll onto his belly and back to his back again, although it's still pretty random at this point. He smiles all day long now and has begun to giggle at times. He loves rough-housing with his Daddy and is finally getting some good use out of his jumperoo. He even thinks he needs to try to sit up when he's in his bathtub. Not sure what that skill will develop into...but he loves to do it! Overall he's starting to become his own little man now and it's a wonderful thing to witness. It seems like he learns something new every day!

Here's some recent photos:

Oh, and before I forget, we have something new as well - an almost complete bathroom! It still needs floor trim and for the new washer/dryer to be installed, but it's a place for me to get ready in the mornings and that has made my life so much easier! 5 months without a bathroom sink can make you a little crazy!! Our other 'larger' bathroom will probably not be complete for another month or two, but we're on the road to victory...one inch at a time. Here's to hoping things continue to progress!

Happy early Thanksgiving to everyone reading! Have a safe and relaxing holiday :)

Battling the Ick

Our house has been taken hostage by respiratory viruses run rampant! Just about the time Julian started feeling better (and Eddie too), Eddie came down with a fever. I immediately wanted to rule out the flu (swine or otherwise), so had him tested and luckily that came back negative. The doctor told him it was bacterial sinusitis and put him on antibiotics. Stupid me - I figured this meant we were in the clear concerning Julian getting sick again. Lesson learned. Don't always listen to doctors. Something about Eddie having a fever for 3 1/2 days regardless of antibiotics just didn't seem right to me - and sure enough, early yesterday morning Julian started in with HIS fever. Who was next? Well, me of course! So now we have a house full of ickies...and thanks to an in-depth conversation with the Pediatrician, I learned that flu swabs are only 50% accurate - so we're not out of the woods concerning the flu at this point. It might be - it might not be. Needless to say, I'm ready for it all to be done, and it's only October.

In the meantime, we actually did get out one day (before realizing just how sick everyone was about to be) and took Julian to his very first pumpkin patch! It was on a farm located just outside of Clay Center and seemed to have a lot to offer. I can't wait until he's old enough to enjoy it! Maybe next year :) Here's some photos from our brief trip (brr...it was cold!)

These baby goats were SO tiny and SO cute! We spent a good portion of our time watching them.



Getting lost in the corn maze..

What kind of pumpkin patch does NOT have monster trucks..?Measuring just how big we're getting! Brrrr...cuddling up.

And the last one...just because :)

Difficult

When Eddie's mom was visiting a month or so ago, she described Eddie as a 'difficult' baby...and based on her description, I could see how she came to that conclusion. Does that make Julian a 'difficult' baby as well? Am I ready to label him that already? Or is it me that makes things difficult for him? Am I doing something wrong that inhibits him from doing the things babies 'should' be doing at this stage? Does the fact that he doesn't sleep through the night, can't tolerate being anywhere but our bed while doing all that non-sleeping, won't nap for more than 30 minutes at a time, scratches me and fights breastfeeding (and then bottle feeding too some days), turns into the biggest drama queen over a fart or the need to poop...are these things that qualify him for the label of 'difficult'? I have a hard time not blaming myself for these things. Being a first time mom, I just assume guilt on all accounts...ie: surely it's something I'm doing...and it's taking it's toll, either way.

Sorry for the rambling...just something that's been on my mind lately. I worry every day that I'm somehow messing up Julian's chances of ever being that 'good' baby everyone imagines they'll have. I don't love him any less, no matter his disposition. I just wonder - is it me?

A Familiar Trip

Exactly 12 weeks (almost to the minute) since that fateful journey to the Labor and Delivery ward, we found ourselves traveling yet again to the hospital. Only this time there was no contractions, just a sick little boy who was having trouble breathing. Yep, Julian celebrated his 12 weeks of life with a trip to the ER!

You know, I've worked with kids for a while now - many of them sick, either chronically or with the everyday illnesses children pass around...but it is absolutely 100% different when it's your own child. I can conclusively say that now! Gone is the level-headedness I figured came with the territory of "nurse" and in it's place - total paranoia, fear, worry and any other emotion you might like to cram in there. Not to mention how hard it is to look into that sweet face and not be able to do a darn thing to help! So I freaked a little. By the time we got the ER he was already acting a bit better (although he did poop all over himself, the carseat, my shirt, and even got some on the admitting nurse in our first 5 minutes there). They tested him for the flu, and RSV (which had been my big worry). He hated the tests of course, but all were negative which made me feel loads better. Turns out it's just a bad cold virus of some sort...Eddie started with the same symptoms yesterday morning, and this morning I'm noticing I'm now feeling a bit stuffy...so I guess little Julian just had a worse time of it.

A bit ironic though...

Here's to hoping for a short recovery for my little Pickle....And no more ER trips. For a long, long while.