Post-traumatic sleep training?
The reason I've been MIA from the blog is because Eddie and I have been neck deep in attempting some sleep training with Julian. I don't know for sure why it took us so long to try this. I think fear played a part of it...fear of how Julian would react, fear that it would make an already bad situation even worse, fear about whether it would work or not. In the last month or so, something changed. It wasn't enough that the baby was waking 4-5 times a night, he also started sleeping so un-soundly that Eddie and I woke with bodily injuries every morning. We had been co-sleeping since Julian was born...partially out of medical reasons, partly out of laziness, partly because we enjoyed it, but it had officially gotten to that place where we no longer enjoyed it. It was all co and no sleep. Something had to give. My child was obviously not getting the rest he needed with all that kicking, thrashing and waking. It was time for a solution.
So, I bought a book with a technique that I felt might work best for us (The "sleep lady" solution, an 'attended' cry-it-out method where you gradually over 10 days or so leave the room - starting out right next to the crib). I knew that us walking out that bedroom door was not going to fly...Julian had known nothing but us cuddling him to sleep every night and being right there beside him. Even during naps (another reason it was time for a change...I got tired of being trapped under a baby 2-3 hours a day!) We needed something a bit more middle of the road, and I felt this was a good thing to try. Mind you - we aren't sticking to the book 100%. We've had to tweak things a bit to suit our situation...but I can tell you that he has spent every night and every nap in the crib for the last 5 days. That's a pretty big deal for a baby that wouldn't even sleep in the bassinet as a newborn. It hasn't been without it's hardships, however. I'm fairly certain we're all a little traumatized - Julian now cries anytime we take him into or near the bedroom (where the crib is and where we do his bedtime routine). He now whines at the end of "Goodnight Moon" because we read it to him before each nap and bedtime. He knows what's coming and he doesn't like it one bit! Mommy hasn't escaped unscathed either....I swear all I hear is phantom screaming babies all day. I hear them when I blow-dry my hair, I hear them when I brush my teeth and I even heard them the other day when I was trying on bathing suits in the Target dressing room while my baby was safely at home with Daddy. Of course, on occasion that screaming baby is real - and is mine...but 90% of the time I just THINK I hear a baby crying. It's a little tough, I'll admit.
So...that's how our Memorial Day weekend went. We didn't go anywhere...we didn't do anything. We just stayed home and tortured our baby. Or at least that's what our neighbors think, I'm sure. We are making progress though, and I can honestly say that I have a newfound sense of freedom that I haven't had in a very, very, VERY long time. No longer am I hanging halfway off the bed all night, sleeping in 30 minute increments scared to roll over or scratch my nose for fear of waking the babe. And although nap times are still pretty rocky (really rocky some days), at least I am able to leave the room at some point and do something other than be forced to watch old re-runs of the Golden Girls on mute while my baby snoozes away on me. It's been a little bit liberating. Hopefully Julian will come to the same conclusion as well some day.
To round things out, here are some of the happier moments from the weekend. Just to prove that Julian is alive and doing well - if not a little more tired than usual (we all were a little delirious by Sunday night)
Cooling off in the pool
Dressing up in Mommy's winter gear
Attempting to ingest part of a pop-up book (that luckily only cost me a quarter at a garage sale, otherwise it would cease to be as cute)
And ok, so we torture him on occasion.
The reason I've been MIA from the blog is because Eddie and I have been neck deep in attempting some sleep training with Julian. I don't know for sure why it took us so long to try this. I think fear played a part of it...fear of how Julian would react, fear that it would make an already bad situation even worse, fear about whether it would work or not. In the last month or so, something changed. It wasn't enough that the baby was waking 4-5 times a night, he also started sleeping so un-soundly that Eddie and I woke with bodily injuries every morning. We had been co-sleeping since Julian was born...partially out of medical reasons, partly out of laziness, partly because we enjoyed it, but it had officially gotten to that place where we no longer enjoyed it. It was all co and no sleep. Something had to give. My child was obviously not getting the rest he needed with all that kicking, thrashing and waking. It was time for a solution.
So, I bought a book with a technique that I felt might work best for us (The "sleep lady" solution, an 'attended' cry-it-out method where you gradually over 10 days or so leave the room - starting out right next to the crib). I knew that us walking out that bedroom door was not going to fly...Julian had known nothing but us cuddling him to sleep every night and being right there beside him. Even during naps (another reason it was time for a change...I got tired of being trapped under a baby 2-3 hours a day!) We needed something a bit more middle of the road, and I felt this was a good thing to try. Mind you - we aren't sticking to the book 100%. We've had to tweak things a bit to suit our situation...but I can tell you that he has spent every night and every nap in the crib for the last 5 days. That's a pretty big deal for a baby that wouldn't even sleep in the bassinet as a newborn. It hasn't been without it's hardships, however. I'm fairly certain we're all a little traumatized - Julian now cries anytime we take him into or near the bedroom (where the crib is and where we do his bedtime routine). He now whines at the end of "Goodnight Moon" because we read it to him before each nap and bedtime. He knows what's coming and he doesn't like it one bit! Mommy hasn't escaped unscathed either....I swear all I hear is phantom screaming babies all day. I hear them when I blow-dry my hair, I hear them when I brush my teeth and I even heard them the other day when I was trying on bathing suits in the Target dressing room while my baby was safely at home with Daddy. Of course, on occasion that screaming baby is real - and is mine...but 90% of the time I just THINK I hear a baby crying. It's a little tough, I'll admit.
So...that's how our Memorial Day weekend went. We didn't go anywhere...we didn't do anything. We just stayed home and tortured our baby. Or at least that's what our neighbors think, I'm sure. We are making progress though, and I can honestly say that I have a newfound sense of freedom that I haven't had in a very, very, VERY long time. No longer am I hanging halfway off the bed all night, sleeping in 30 minute increments scared to roll over or scratch my nose for fear of waking the babe. And although nap times are still pretty rocky (really rocky some days), at least I am able to leave the room at some point and do something other than be forced to watch old re-runs of the Golden Girls on mute while my baby snoozes away on me. It's been a little bit liberating. Hopefully Julian will come to the same conclusion as well some day.
To round things out, here are some of the happier moments from the weekend. Just to prove that Julian is alive and doing well - if not a little more tired than usual (we all were a little delirious by Sunday night)
Cooling off in the pool
Hope your Memorial Day weekend was filled with fun and sun! And sleep!
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