A mother's point of view.
Nine years ago, had Osama Bin Laden been found and killed, I would have thrown a party, got roaring drunk and happily joined in with the celebration...but something has changed in the last nine years. I became a Mom, and as I'm sure you know - the way you think totally changes once you add a child to your world. The death itself does not bother me so much - I will be honest, I thought the man was dead for years now...dehydrated in a desert somewhere or killed off by one of his own personal enemies. I figure we just would never know for sure. While on one hand I am happy that this man is gone from this earth and can do no more harm, what really bothers me is what I'm seeing and reading on facebook and other social networking sites (not to mention the news). The statements. The status updates. The PICTURES. Posted where children can easily click and see the destruction of a human life - in full detail. I don't care whose life it was - it was a person, and looking at it effected ME as a 31 year old adult. I can only imagine what it might do to a 12 year old if they happened upon it.
Maybe I am naive, that I want to present a cleaned-up, happy version of this world to my child during his childhood. I want him to learn to see the good in people - to learn to solve situations without force, without violence. I want him to learn to find the best in each situation, and to see the beauty - and not the ugliness - that this world can provide. Does that make me wrong? Does that make me un-American that I have a hard time celebrating a person's death - no matter how warranted it was? No matter how much pain he caused? I will not mourn him or miss him, but I also will not celebrate his passing or give his death and his evil deeds the attention that he so sought in life.
My own husband - who I believe is on his 15th year of military service this year - watched the news only long enough to get the jist of what had happened, and then happily turned the channel back to his favorite show in the Discovery Channel. It happened, we acknowledge and understand WHY it happened, but the 3-day-long mass hate-fest on Facebook is making me wonder what kind of world I am sending my child out into. Am I so naive that I think he will never see the world as it really is? Or even someday (God forbid) have to participate in a war himself or firsthand see the destruction it causes? No...but if I had a genie in a bottle at my disposal I would ask for just that. As proud as I am of my husband's military service - I do not wish that for my child, although I do realize that it is ultimately not my decision to make. If I had it my way, his sweetness and innocense would be protected well past the ripe old age of 18.
To round this off, here are a couple of quotes that say exactly how I feel on this topic - only obviously more eloquently...by the late Dr. Martin Luther King:
“I’m concerned about a better world. I’m concerned about justice; I’m concerned about brotherhood; I’m concerned about truth. And when one is concerned about that, he can never advocate violence. For through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can’t murder murder. Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can’t establish truth. Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can’t murder hate through violence."
"Where do we go from here?" Speech - 1967
and this...
“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. […] The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.”
"Strength to Love" 1963
(note: there is an incorrect version of the above quote flying around Facebook in which the first line reads: "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy." This was actually one poster's comment/status that was just above the quotation from MLK that she posted, and somehow - through mass sharing - it got incorporated into the body of the actual quote.)
5 comments:
Thank you for writing this. Thank you for posting it. I completely agree and once again I am so glad to not have TV or facebook anymore. It would depress me to know how ugly people can be. You are a wise woman, a wonderful mother, and a great friend! Thanks for your encouragement and sweet thoughts!
Thanks for sharing this, I love the "hate cannot drive out hate" piece, it's so true and it's been heavy on my mind. I am actually one of those who was guilty of re-posting the incorrect version online!
I just want to say that I am very glad that you wrote this and shared your feelings. It's true, your perspective on things does change once you become a mother. Personally, I am very torn on this. Having called NY home for nearly 10 years, the city and the people there hold a very special place in my heart, so part of me is happy that the quest to find Bin Ladin is finally over. Bin Laden's death cannot undo what was done. It cannot bring back all of the innocent people that died that day. It cannot wipe the images of the city burning from our memories. But, there is one less evil person in this world, and I am happy about that. I guess what makes me really sad is seeing this all turn into such a media circus, and seeing people continue to spew such hatred. Yes, Bin Ladin was an evil man. He had no regard for human life and took pleasure in killing innocent people, and yes, I am glad that he is gone. But I wish that people would focus more on all the good things and the beauty and the blessings in the world, instead of always focusing on the bad. Our world is made up of both good and evil, it always will be, but I hope that I can teach my daughter that even when bad things happen, even when you are faced with unimaginable evil, there is always a lesson to be learned, and that you have a choice whether to feed the fire or to endure it and walk away from it stronger. Sorry! I didn't mean to hijack your post with my long comment, but you know I get wordy when I get started! Thank you for your post! Julian is very fortunate to have you for his mother.
I totally agree! It's been so frustrating to see how nasty people can be. I hardly even had a reaction to it...It was just a "Yep, it happened" sort of thing for me. I just haven't posted or said much about it because I tend to get a little over-emotional about things sometimes and I'm not sure I could have said it as coherently as you did. And as for keeping our little ones' innocence, wouldn't that be amazing??? :)
I agree, I had a sickening feeling in my stomach as I watched the thousands of people celebrating the death of a person.
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