I do promise to upload some pictures in the near future. I have a whole bunch from July that intend on throwing into one post if I could just get a little time to do so!
As for the title of THIS post...it's referring to deployment. It hit me today as I was cleaning the floors how different this deployment is/has been from the last one. I mean, obviously - there is the time issue. The last time Eddie was deployed we were apart for a little over 15 months, so this deployment is a fraction of that. I'm not complaining about that in the slightest! There's also a totally different feel to it all, though. Perhaps it's because we aren't newlyweds fresh out of the chapel this time around...but I don't worry over him every minute of the day. I still think of him all the time, but I'm not imagining the absolute worst-case-scenario 24/7. That might have a lot to do with having Julian here. I have a feeling a LOT of the differences this time around have to do with Julian. I distinctly remember moping around the house, sad and depressed, for the majority of my time apart from my husband the last time around. My house suffered....it was a wreck, and I don't mean like some people say their house is a wreck, but a true wreck. So bad you wouldn't want the UPS guy to sneak a peek around you as you're signing for your packages. Disgusting was probably a better word. Now, while no one is dumb enough to declare me queen of housekeeping, this time around I find I actually WANT to clean. How often do I get the chance to have one less person to pick up after? And how nice is it in the evening, once Julian is asleep and I have the house to myself, to sit back on the couch and not look around at dirty dishes and laundry piling up? I'm sure I could possibly eat my words in a week or two. Maybe it's some strange nesting phenomenon, but I actually have been keeping up with the house better than when Eddie was home....but let's not rush to tell him that, shall we?
So, I'm a lot less weepy, and the house is clean...and I'm actually enjoying some of the one-on-one time I have with my son. Mind you - I'm not glossing over the times when he drives me absolutely crazy and frustrates be beyond relief, because that does happen....but no longer do I have Eddie to default him to in the evenings, which really pushes me to try and make those hours entertaining for him and for I, and in an effort to pass the time, we've actually had some pretty fun and pretty sweet moments together. I find that when I'm not trying to do a hundred things at once during the day with him home, and instead can sit and play with his toys more or snuggle on the couch as he watches a show....he's actually a happier kid - and a happy kid means a much less stressed out mom.
But again - there's still been plenty of stress, and by no means am I saying I have a handle on everything. I'm just so relieved that this time around is NOT last time around, because I'm not sure I could have survived that right now. I'm proud of myself a little...it's almost been a whole week and the floors are relatively clean, dishes mostly done, laundry fairly organized and washed, child fed and well taken care of and no pets have died. It's practically a miracle.
And so we'll see how the second week goes....which reminds me that I have some days to cross off my calendar.
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