Follow Up

I had my follow up appointment today concerning my procedure and things went pretty well. It's nice to finally ask questions that I've been curious about for two weeks! The Reader's Digest version is this: I have stage two endometriosis (stage 4 being the worst, so this is good news) which means that while I did have some scarring and involvement of my ovaries and fallopian tubes, but the endo was not widespread and the damage was on the minimal side. These stages do not relate to how much pain you experience, since that varies from person to person (and the location of the lesions), but it does mean that in terms of fertility - we are looking pretty good. the tissue they found somewhat blocking my cervix actually did not turn out to be scar tissue, but rather endometrial tissue, which is curious and a bit confusing. The doctor and I are both hopeful that a good chunk of my pain and my lack of period will be resolved from clearing out some of that tissue, as well as the cauterizing they did on the endometriosis they did find throughout my pelvic region.

I'm incredibly relieved that we are not looking at worst case scenario here, but practically best-case scenario...and now my dilemma is not so much whether I will be able to get pregnant, but WHEN we should get pregnant. Essentially, the longer we wait, the harder it may be to conceive. For now, I will have to go on hormonal contraceptives to keep my endo at bay, and so that also means that we will have to make the conscious decision to get pregnant as we will have to choose a time to go off the hormones and try....and the longer I'm off the hormones, the more pain I will be in and the higher the chance that my endo will start to grow again, so it means really buckling down and having a plan concerning the conception of our next child. Did I say that this terrifies me? Because it does. My natural-born anxiety does not allow me to 'plan' a child - Julian is living proof of this. If he hadn't just happened, we might still not have any children. There will always be a thousand reasons why it's not the right time to get pregnant....we will be able to truly decide (in a timely fashion) when it IS the right time?

So there lies my newest dilemma. I have gone from being devastated at the thought of never being able to add another child to our family to freaking out because I will have to decide exactly when we want to make that happen and I haven't got the slightest clue....
.....but I am thankful for the opportunity either way.

So there is my update, I can safely say that you will probably hear a lot less about my reproductive organs from here on out ;)